afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize