I love black thongs
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
