i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
