i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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