Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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