maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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