I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
