so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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