talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
