What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
