dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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