Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Someone signed my nipple.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
