Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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