i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
