Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
