I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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