Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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