He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
