you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
