I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
