left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Randomize
