question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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