The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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