guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
