farters have to be the big spoon...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
