Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
