I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
