He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
