why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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