and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
