it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize