There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
