I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
