If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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