So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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