So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
