Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
4 words: hood of his car
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize