I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
