Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
