I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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