the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
