batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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