Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
