I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
