What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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