yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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