Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
