her vagine was all disorganized.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
