U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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