I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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