Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
