I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize