I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize