I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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