i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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