while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
