I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
