my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
