from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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