i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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