Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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