I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
