I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
