dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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