mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
