Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
