Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
